Defence Conundrum

Theo Walcott zoomed across the face of goal, dragging Vidic with him and opening the floodgates for Samir Nasri to fire in anger and put his and Arsenal's second past United at The Emirates. 2-0. Game over. If that was a low moment, then li'l Rafael Da Silva's stunner of a first ever goal for United salvaged some pride. But what really set things straight was the next 14 games. United's defence, in simple terms, shut shop. Not an earthworm could swirm through. Not even the ghosts of some of the best strikers in the World could sneak past the walls. Rio Ferdinand's words in a Nike ad "Let no man pass" was a reality on the pitch. Rio and Vidic flanked by Evra, Rafael and O'Shea were a force that no team could stand up to, for 14 matches at a stretch. It was a total black out. Finally it took a great strike by Roque Santa Cruz to breach United's wall and a lucky goal by Loevenkrantz to finally put one past Van Der Sar. It was the platform on which United dared to dream of collecting 7 trophies. They pulled upshort at the last step on two occasions but last season's defence was a phenomenon rarely witnessed before. Vidic was performing in a parallel universe where strikers were persona non grata.

Fast forward to now...

Rio Ferdinand: Has stumbled from one injury to another
Vidic: Exactly what's his injury? Marginally better than Rio in terms of appearances but nothing to write home about
Yet to play in central defence along side each other since early November
O'Shea: Miserable season that reads Captaincy-injury-comeback-injury-comeback-Henry'ed in Paris - injured-Out for the season
Neville: At 35, it's hardly the time for him to get injured every month, get back on the field without full fitness and get injured again
Evans: Looks like Alice in Wonderland without Vidic or Rio to guide him. Has showed his immense talent but when faced with strong opposition, he's wilted under the pressure. Everton and AC Milan come to mind immediately
Brown: Let's face it, he's never gonna be United's first choice centre back EVER. Has been an able deputy all season but he's no Vidic
Rafael: Seems to be getting into the Marcelo mode. Great when bombing forward. Remember Wigan? But seems to lose his head when defending against World class wingers. Ronaldinho skinned him too many times though he stood upto 'Dinho bravely. But then, he's 19, he's certainly on his way to donning the no.2 jersey
Evra: Captain courageous! Has ANYbody played more minutes than him this season?? Every match, every competition, every weekend and midweek, the pint sized Frenchman's been a livewire down that wing. The rock in the defence. Counting down to the reserves, we had 9 defenders injured at a point of time and still he was up and kicking. Deserves the armband.
De Laet, Fabio: Ask me this time season after next

Within a span of one year, United's defence has gone from being the best in the World to the most chaotic unit in the team. Injuries have wreaked havoc and transfer speculations have done their bit to lower the already drooping morale. The central defensive pair that had as much a hand in last season's successes as El Ron is barely recognizable this season. Carrick, Flethcer, De Laet, Giggs, everyone and their cousins from Mars have played defenders this season. Last time Fergie could pick his first choice defenders was against Liverpool in early November or October. Since then it's been a patch up job of unseen proportions. The bench has become a field hospital. Instances of defenders breaking down right before kickoff hardly seem to surprise people these days. It's become so bloody common! Rio, at 31, and his back, at 62, seem to be past the days of playing week in week out for club and country. Even if he is to make a full recovery, it'll be hard for him to play more than 3-4 matches at a stretch. Vidic, if he can get over his personal issues and mysterious injuries, can still give 3-4 prime seasons before getting intot eh Rio-mode but there's a huge question mark hanging over that at the moment. And if reports of his family's inability to settle in England are to be believed then I don't think Barca or Real Madrid will think twice before giving United a blank cheque for the Serb.
Johnny Evans is at least a season away from playing week in week out as United's no.5. he's shown his potential but the rawness of the 22 year old is there for all to see. He needs some serious tutelage under Rio and Vidic. Wes Brown... will be Wes Brown till he retires as the man who served United whenever they were without their first choice defenders. Nothing much different can be said about John O'Shea. So where does that leave United?
Nightmare scenario: Rio continues the way he is, now. Vidic does the same as Rio or worse, leaves for Spain/Italy.
It leaves United with 20-25 million in cash, one good, young central defender on his way to greatness but not there yet, one awesome but crocked England captain, and Wes Brown. And Chris Smalling. If his performance against Chelsea for Fulham are anything to go buy, Fergie's pulled off a coup by signing the kid for 7 mil. But he'll have to be monitored for atleast 6 months before blooding him full time. And it'll be a ridiculous risk playing a 20 year old and a 22 year old in central defence. Add Rafael to that and we might as well ask Paul McGuinness to move his academy to Old Trafford.
Bottomline: If Vidic and/or Ferdidand are gonna be like this next season, we're in God almighty trouble. We need a defender.

Who?
Fergie's favourite Simon Klaer:
Plus: Totally in the Vidic mode. Rock solid.
Minus: He's younger than Jonny Evans. Hard to see him leading United's defensive line. Sergio Ramos, inspite of having been a teenage prodigy is struggling to do it at Real. Will be a huge ask if Kjaer is pulled up to lead the line.

Mamadou Sakho:
Plus: Has plied his trade in the French league so naturally fast and physical too. On the brink of breaking into Raymond Domenech’s squad

Minus: Same as Kjaer. Lack of experience. Haven’t seen much of him in the Champions League so whether he can perform at the top level remains to be seen.

Gary Cahill:

Plus: Proven performer. Right age to make the big move. Has earned his salt under some of the hardest task masters in the league. Has earned a national team call up as well. Covetous glances from Chelsea and Juventus mean he’s someone to be looked at seriously

My 2 cents:

Branislav Ivanovic:

Chelsea’s unsung Player of the Season. Whether at centre back or right back, the Serb has been sensational. He’s been no slouch whether it is at getting into rough tackles or bombing forward – he’s matched Ashley Cole at that, which is REALLY something. His performance in last year’s Champions League double headers against Liverpool was a joy to behold. Definitely, a wasted talent at Chelsea, as second choice to Bosingwa and Ricardo Carvalho.

Bruno Alves:

The bedrock of Portugal’s defence, Alves has risen fast to become one of the best centre backs in Europe. It’s only a matter of time before the biggies of Europe come calling on him so if United want a World class centre back and are ready to shell out $20 million or above then we better move fast on him.

Ryan Shawcross:

The one that got away. Just where was Fergie’s eye for talent when he let the gangling youngster leave for Stoke? The Potters’ captain has fast risen to being one of the best young defenders in the league and has earned a maiden call up to Capello’s squad. That he plies his trade under Tony Pulis means he’s a tough no-nonsense defender. His horrendous tackle on Aaron Ramsey –albeit unintentional- shows he’s not loathe to get into crunching tackles. Will be one hell of a buy for $12m but considering we could’ve had him for free, it’s a transfer long overdue.

Rabbit out of the hat: The Fergie-Ole way. Get someone whose name will have to be looked up by the media… till he makes an all too familiar Old Trafford debut. Vegard Forren from Ole’s old club probably….

Mancunian El Clasico? You think!!!

Now now Carlito! We know you're ticked off at Utd fans for booing you but this?? El Clasico of Manchester?? OK, United and Barcelona are great but just because you guys and Real are both money bags, you compare yourself with them?? MADNESS!! Last time you guys played in Europe, the European and North American tectonic plates must still have been stuck to each other! Do you guys even remember how to qualify for the Champions League? Let alone, win it nine times! It's friggin laughable, El Clasico! You think! Hear hear m/s Wenger and Benitez! Sparky's putting his rivalry with United on the same plane as your's!
El Clasicos take place when two of the best teams in the country with intense rivalry between them face off. Now, that can happen in England when 2 of Utd, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal play. Or perhaps also when Arsenal play Spurs (remember the tennis scorelines??) and Liverpool play Everton.
Now for such a match to take place in Manchester we need TWO BIG teams with INTENSE rivalry between them.
Possibility one: Utd vs Citeh
Ok, the rivalry is intense but where's the second BIG team??

Personally I'd prefer to watch the second possibility. Though there's no rivalry between the two, at least the second team is reasonably big in this case. And pity it happens only once a year. That's the one that comes closest to a Mancunian 'El Clasico'
And Sparky, Carlito, I'm sure they'll let a former Utd great and a former Utd loyalist enter Carrington to watch Fergie's men face off against Ole's boys! Come one, come all!!!

Why India Will Never Produce a Ronaldo

'Borrowed' from Goal.com; Too good!

1) "Ninety minutes are up, why are they still playing for 3 more minutes"??

That’s just for good luck, no big deal.

2) "What is offside? Anything related to cricket"?

Oh dear, you said the C-word.

3) "Koi goal kyon nahi maar raha hai?" (Why isn't anyone scoring?)

That's because there's a defence on both sides, dodo.

4) "Is Ronaldo playing?"

Yes, he plays for every single team in the whole wide world.

5) "Is Arsenal named after Arsene Wenger?"

Absolutely. They foresaw his managerial role at the club right from the late 1800s.

6) "Why don't Manchester United play in the World Cup?"

Please, don't make me thump you.

7) "Why did that defender just kick the ball aimlessly out of play into the stands?"

Because he probably saw someone like you sitting there.

8) "He scored an own goal? What a horrible footballer!"

I wish you could imagine an own goal in any other way apart from a man walking the ball into the back of his own net.

9) "The penalty taker hit the ball to the left, so why did the goalkeeper dive to the right?"

Argh! Probably because he wanted to get out of the way.

10) "There's no Third Umpire?"

Just get out of my house.

Gascoigne... Jaap Stam... Tevez?

Carlos Tevez has given up hopes of staying at OT after this season. While Fergie's case that he's too expensive to be the 3rd striker makes sense, why does he HAVE to be the 3rd striker in the first place? He was instrumental in Utd's 2 titles last season. There was no reason to buy Berbatov n relegate Tevez to the bench this season. That Berba's done well enough to be in the starting line up is a different issue altogether.
When a guy with the talent, work rate and commitment of Tevez wants to stay, it simply doesn't make sense to let him go. Specially so considering that this would've been a major talking point before buying Berba.
Utd's formation unfortunately doesnt have space for a 3rd striker. And a striker of Tevez's calbre simply can't rot on the bench. So is Tevez Fergie's 3rd biggest mistake in the making? He's been graceful enuf to accept the other 2 mistakes in public. Will a 3rd such instance occur or will Fergie be smart enuf to see it before it strikes and save Utd the blushes? All evidence points to the former as of now.
One thing's for certain, Utd's not the place for Berbatov AND Tevez. If one of them is to move to the other half of Manchester or worse, to Merseyside, Fergie's choice is pretty obvious; but then what's YOUR choice?

My Ode to Man Utd

At the theater of dreams,
Amidst 75 and a thousand devils,
Swimming in a turbulent sea of red,
and deafening roars of 'Glory Glory Man United',
Out stroll the 11 warriors...
Who know not any barriers...
Noble Edwin behind his mates,
Holding off the enemy at the gates.
Guarded by Savvy Patrice and little Rafa on the flanks...
The two short stalwarts stronger than a column on phalanx,
Stand General Vida and rowdy Rio,
Cutting down wave after wave of a hapless foe...
They ran in, stepped over, and fell over.
They flew in, dived across, and got sent off forever.
And when they got it past the two towers,
Good Edwin was there to pull off stunners.
Sixteen good invasions they held off,
Before the Magpies' grit paid off.
Halfway from Edwin's lair lies the battlefield,
So savage of all fronts called the midfield.
With Gallant Carrick Blocking
And Scintillating Scholes probing...
The enemy shows his will,
But is fought to a stand still.
Down the Stretford End blows a storm of red,
Gracing the jersey that the King once held,
Young n old rise to the King of Con,
As unleashed now is the phenomenon Ron.
So much was the fans' glee...
So prolific his scoring spree...
That the enemy let out a hapless plea...
Oh that boy Ronaldo!
The ball had but one place to go!
In this field of legends on the mark,
Fought a man who defined work...
Not for nothing is he called Three Lung Park

[this is all I've completed till now. yet to write abt some not-so-unfamiliar names. Will finish it in a week or so - Arunaldo]